We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
