the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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