Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
