whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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