Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I looked at my own cervix.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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