btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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