these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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