you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
