Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
