I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he fucked my hip out of place.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
