Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
