in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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