u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
