You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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