Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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