Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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