Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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