I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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