He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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