it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize