i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
