He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
