I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
