He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
