i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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