Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
