Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize