How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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