This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
vagina is talking i cant
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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