We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
