Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
