she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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