This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize