Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
