my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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