pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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