Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
