Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize