i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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