Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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