Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
