Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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