wanna go halves on a baby?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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