he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
