After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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