I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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