what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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