adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
