Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
