I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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