Don't you send me to vm
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
