the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize