where does the pee come out of this thing
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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