Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
