So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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