Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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