Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
