I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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