I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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