he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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