Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
