Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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