you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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