Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
